Wake Up Calls
Filed Under:
Student's Corner
Written by Students & Staff
My Wake-Up Call
FORE!! This is not what a golfer wants to hear. An errant inbound shot is cause to immediately duck and cover. A wake up call for one’s life is cause to scramble as well. I finally heard this last one after I got hit, and man did it ever hurt! A couple years ago my life was falling apart as I was moving to Santa Fe. I was losing much of what I had deemed important, and all of a sudden I had lots of quiet time. Oh goodie, the opportunity to face my anger, regrets, frustration, disillusionment, blame, loneliness, and whatever else was stuffed in there. It’s as if my soul was whispering, “Do I finally have your attention?”
In the midst of this confusion, I reached out for help. Being open to where new connections would lead, a friend of a friend invited me to a healing and meditation service at the Center. Being there immediately felt right. I had soured on a lifetime of religiosity, and was searching for something deeper and relevant. Could it be possible that after all this time of looking outwards for happiness, my answers all along were within? Miraculously, I had been led to a group of loving souls committed to their own quest for spiritual freedom to guide and support me in finding my way.
It’s interesting to me that my developing spiritual truth is similar to that of so many, but only I can “discover” and own it for myself. I am responsible only for my life - my universe within - and no one else’s. I can find healing for regret, anger and blame in forgiveness. Neutrality can lead me to healing judgment and arrogance. I can release fear and cinema-like emotions through surrender. Love and acceptance for others will grow by nurturing the same in myself. I can choose joy and happiness by living in the present. And only I can do all of this by going within, finding my center, my inner truth.
One of the biggest challenges I will ever face is to train my mind to relinquish control. My “rationalizer” is loud and busy. My inner voice is soft, and the centered quiet wherein lies the God of my heart is new to me. I feel my ego struggling against my desire to find balance and communion with my soul. My ego wants me to live in either past turmoil or future potential, for it offers little value in the timeless safety of the present moment. Yet I now know that all I’ve ever really wanted – unconditional love, happiness, peace - is only found in the present. It is in the meditative and healing support, to quiet my mind and hear my inner voice plus collect and harness my life energy, that I so value the Center as my guide and partner. I don’t hear dogma there. No energy of control or judgment either. I find the energy of acceptance, challenge, guidance and caring for my own unique spiritual journey. I find people sharing and loving and validating each other. I didn’t ask for a comfortable seat in the pew this time, I asked for healing and growth and purpose. I’ve found that this takes an enduring commitment to allow the uncomfortable yet exhilarating expansion of awareness to shine like sunbeams through a cloud. It’s exciting to me that through this commitment, I am finally finding my intuitive voice.
As a result, I am a different person today. I am embracing my spiritual self. I have come to understand that’s who I really am. And I have committed to a life of deepening my spiritual connection and offering my unique soul personality into the world. I am learning that the opportunity to heal and grow exists in all experiences, as I have drawn them into my life for that very purpose. The gravity of this truth is just hitting me. Old pictures and limiting interpretations held since childhood are being exposed and dismissed as my grounding ever strengthens. I am beginning to see the oneness among people. I live each day with my spiritual tools at the ready, and with awareness and neutrality I better understand what’s important and what’s not. My body feels stronger and more alive. My mind is lighter and better appreciates life’s little miracles and amusements. I feel more complete and healthy. I have certainty that as I heal myself, I CAN be a healing influence to everyone around me.
So I am thankful for my wake up call, the call from my soul, and for the calling in of beautiful people that have enriched and nurtured me. And I am ever thankful for finding my partner in spiritual growth in the Center for Inner Truth. It feels like home.
As you hear the next “Fore” in your life, maybe it will mean more than “duck and cover”. It may signal an urgent call from within to choose a more meaningful and healthy path. I suggest it is your divine destiny to pay attention.
Carl Gruenler was a student in the Spiritual Healing program at the Center for Inner Truth in Santa Fe, NM when this article was written for the July/August 2008 newsletter and is President of CFIT’s Board of Directors.
Written by Students & Staff
My Wake-Up Call
FORE!! This is not what a golfer wants to hear. An errant inbound shot is cause to immediately duck and cover. A wake up call for one’s life is cause to scramble as well. I finally heard this last one after I got hit, and man did it ever hurt! A couple years ago my life was falling apart as I was moving to Santa Fe. I was losing much of what I had deemed important, and all of a sudden I had lots of quiet time. Oh goodie, the opportunity to face my anger, regrets, frustration, disillusionment, blame, loneliness, and whatever else was stuffed in there. It’s as if my soul was whispering, “Do I finally have your attention?”
In the midst of this confusion, I reached out for help. Being open to where new connections would lead, a friend of a friend invited me to a healing and meditation service at the Center. Being there immediately felt right. I had soured on a lifetime of religiosity, and was searching for something deeper and relevant. Could it be possible that after all this time of looking outwards for happiness, my answers all along were within? Miraculously, I had been led to a group of loving souls committed to their own quest for spiritual freedom to guide and support me in finding my way.
It’s interesting to me that my developing spiritual truth is similar to that of so many, but only I can “discover” and own it for myself. I am responsible only for my life - my universe within - and no one else’s. I can find healing for regret, anger and blame in forgiveness. Neutrality can lead me to healing judgment and arrogance. I can release fear and cinema-like emotions through surrender. Love and acceptance for others will grow by nurturing the same in myself. I can choose joy and happiness by living in the present. And only I can do all of this by going within, finding my center, my inner truth.
One of the biggest challenges I will ever face is to train my mind to relinquish control. My “rationalizer” is loud and busy. My inner voice is soft, and the centered quiet wherein lies the God of my heart is new to me. I feel my ego struggling against my desire to find balance and communion with my soul. My ego wants me to live in either past turmoil or future potential, for it offers little value in the timeless safety of the present moment. Yet I now know that all I’ve ever really wanted – unconditional love, happiness, peace - is only found in the present. It is in the meditative and healing support, to quiet my mind and hear my inner voice plus collect and harness my life energy, that I so value the Center as my guide and partner. I don’t hear dogma there. No energy of control or judgment either. I find the energy of acceptance, challenge, guidance and caring for my own unique spiritual journey. I find people sharing and loving and validating each other. I didn’t ask for a comfortable seat in the pew this time, I asked for healing and growth and purpose. I’ve found that this takes an enduring commitment to allow the uncomfortable yet exhilarating expansion of awareness to shine like sunbeams through a cloud. It’s exciting to me that through this commitment, I am finally finding my intuitive voice.
As a result, I am a different person today. I am embracing my spiritual self. I have come to understand that’s who I really am. And I have committed to a life of deepening my spiritual connection and offering my unique soul personality into the world. I am learning that the opportunity to heal and grow exists in all experiences, as I have drawn them into my life for that very purpose. The gravity of this truth is just hitting me. Old pictures and limiting interpretations held since childhood are being exposed and dismissed as my grounding ever strengthens. I am beginning to see the oneness among people. I live each day with my spiritual tools at the ready, and with awareness and neutrality I better understand what’s important and what’s not. My body feels stronger and more alive. My mind is lighter and better appreciates life’s little miracles and amusements. I feel more complete and healthy. I have certainty that as I heal myself, I CAN be a healing influence to everyone around me.
So I am thankful for my wake up call, the call from my soul, and for the calling in of beautiful people that have enriched and nurtured me. And I am ever thankful for finding my partner in spiritual growth in the Center for Inner Truth. It feels like home.
As you hear the next “Fore” in your life, maybe it will mean more than “duck and cover”. It may signal an urgent call from within to choose a more meaningful and healthy path. I suggest it is your divine destiny to pay attention.
Carl Gruenler was a student in the Spiritual Healing program at the Center for Inner Truth in Santa Fe, NM when this article was written for the July/August 2008 newsletter and is President of CFIT’s Board of Directors.
- The Church of Inner Truth
- 826 Camino de Monte Rey
- Suite A1
- Santa Fe, NM 87505
- 505-920-4418
